night n day

For last few days i have been thinking doing a lots of thinking cause its been more than many times that i have tries quite hard but was unsuccessful in getting what i wanted very badly n that was killing me very badly cause firstly its was my only girl in my life than my exam that bloody DSP, now i know why its is really called as Degree Stopping Paper..n than many thngs which if i write than i will sleep off so leave it ...ohhh what a song m listening to lastfm now n they r paying "morning has broken" by Cat Stevens ...its such a nice song i love it...but leave that. yeah i was taking abt those bloody troubles ..before i use to get drunk n then try to get things off me but i thought m not so old to these things to get trouble out that too again it will come back to haunt me. so i stopped drinking....but yeah i started smoking n doping a bit cause it just lets me relax n makes me more slow to analyze things more clearly n just lye down with my music ... but last two days has been most craziest day. i donno abt other people but what saw was quite socking too me.... let me explain u a bit..day before yesterday while coming back from khokha at around 11 o'clock at night ... it was fog allaround me the visibility was 10 meters for normal eyes without much light but can see the light a bit n again today moring at around 9 o'clock the condition was same n again i was coming after have my morning dose of cigarette... n then i realised some thing that i really wanted to put it here.. even if nobody is going to read it...its like this that that night even it was dark the lights due to street light which were of yellow n bluish white...made the whole place is such aa manner that if u just move around n u can see the light changing from yellow to blue with shades of dark n than blue n white mixed n i was with my friends enjoying that, m not able to explain it properly cause i have never been but still trying that...n same road with same fog was all white due to sun which was hiding way under clouds somewhere...n the whole street was same from one point to another with lots of man walking around to busy to see how beautiful the place is n think abt it... n then i saw two way of life that we can have n that is the whole possibility i found no more....one says that forget about everything n just enjoy the small movement that come in front of u n let it roll bt if u try to know everything around u then it is possibility that u will forget what u r having now n that will be lost like u never had..... n small moment make life more colourful than nything that u can possibly think...its not so easy but do give it a try...for now goodbye.....

fallen aprt....

Its been a long time span
or it is just that time slowed down
feels like ages has past by
and i have grown older
too much to think about
and so much to be done
all for what and whom
or for the era that's by gone

days looks like weeks
and weeks like months
m still stuck to you
with everything in my front
trying to hold you down
was a mistake
cage with the bars
that were all fake

you say life is all about changes
it changed so fast
couldn't even remember my name
existence has fallen apart

life is life everyone have to live so i think now i will also try to just live till i die physically......

here to there............

today i saw a dream. dreams was about a girl i know her very well but i donno does she knows me or not and i seriously don't give a damn about her. she is one of my batch mate... i m not gonna write about the dream but just wanted to spill things out that how can it be rally possible that all day long i think of someone else but she comes to my dream i know things were never good between us but at least we were friends n i was proud of that but that day i said everything i wanted to n i lost her... i had a feeling that i have already lost her but after that day i know m not able to do much its not m obsessed with her but its like she was one of my small routine that i miss a lot.. it might seem like some bullshit or a guy blabbering without knowing nything n at a point i do feel like that but never able to justify why i feel that why still everything we did are so fresh n are not letting me go...i promised her that everything will be gone n m trying to throe out evrybit of her but m not able to do that.... feel like we will meet someday n everything will be fine till then just keep killing those feelings like u never had ny of them n go on.. keep walking ... keep searching if nyone else is there who will be able to replace her n let u shine.... let u be what u want to be... let u live again....i don't know but i will do try this for her n for me n for goodness of all.... although its not even two its only me as she said....n i think she is right its me who have to walk no one else will.. i will end this little stuff which i started on my dream n ended on someone else..koi nahi

are you the same
as you use to be
one who use to
spend time with me

are you the friend
that i use to have
who never cared
the way i behaved

i won't believe again
i won't be same
m full of pain
no one will be here again
never never again

it is the way of life
or is it the way life goes
sometimes you try to be mine
and never care even if i go drain

m i the one who have
lost his mind
or you are the one
who are of different kind


i won't believe again
i won't be same
m fill of pain
no one will be here again
never never again

i was alone before you came
and now m still the same
the pain you gave me
will never go in vain

life is mine in a way to other
you were never there to let me bother

i won't believe again
i won't be same
m full of pain
no one will be here again
never never again
how can i be same
never never again...

what is this???

The black night
and white clouds
the rain drops
and with no doubts

the thundering
the lightining
the stromy winds
life is fll of fights

the silver swords
and black sheild
the red flood
and life flll of blood

black figure
and glowing eyes
calling me to the place
life have never seen...

Burn........

As the time passes by
it heals all the burns
but donno know will it be able
to fill the one i have

the burn that came from
staying away from u..
the burn that came for
being the stupid one

i don't know what it will be
to be with u all the time
but always feel it should be like
being with the angel in the heaven..

looking at the sea
smoking up the cigarette
thinking about you
will i ever forget

i don't know where to go
and what to see
the pain of burn has
taken all the sense of me

m trying to fight
but have no enemy
burn gets deeper
where no one can see

all things i do deepen the burn
tell me ohh lord what should i do...
exchange my soul with the Lucifer
or keep the burn being with u....

butterfly effect........

i know that the heading of this blog is somewhat confusing but let me tell u that if some one knows what a butterfly effect means then he will seurly understan what i m trying to tell..lemme give u a hint or lets say the famous cotation abtou butterfly effect "a filp of butterfly wing in japan can cause a tornado in california(i don't remeber the exact place)". hmm one of the most terrible thing that can happen to nyone is that when u wake up n see that everything has changed from the time when u went to sleep......all the things that cn possible change u life for a long time has just happened in the two hour span that u were in u'r the process to provide u'r body a bit of rest. the story is that after coming from a shitty party of microbus farewell i fell very sleepy n i went to sleep at 4 and at 6 when i woke up someone says that m on the detained list the most unexpected thing that i can go through cause i was quite conciese of making all attendence between the saftey reason that was 65-75 %. but how come i m getting detained. i ran as fast as i can n reached the academic block n looked at the register it was the most unexpected teacher who has done that n that was my seminar . he is actually an ad-hoc what we call these m.tech guys. n getting detained due to him was hte worst theng any one cna imagine......but luck was on my side even he was out of station i was able to get his dign to complete my attendence......but i would not have been possible if he wasn't appointed as our teacher in the mid of semester cause before that our head of department use to take that seminar classes n as being HOD he would have never given me that extra class attendence.........theres a lot to werite abt this 20 hours that i spent wiout food n sleep...but let me write that ine in another one....till then good bye.......m not detained n haan i have to prepare for my exams.......

none done but still looking at sun

all alone on the empty road
walking in under the moonlight
blowing breeze feels so cold
n u 'r ready to take on any fight.

god never leaves his chile alone
so the 6 wheeler was standing near me.
in exchange to show them the way to heaven.
people from maharastra to save me

still had to pass the sarovar
waking all alone
with dogs surrounging me
looking for their food......

alll ends when i get to her
from the inner part
which is still coloured with
the coloured she used
none of holi colour or any other
type will bw ablw to cover or remove her..
cause the moon light after all refreshed her memories back.........
the ones i tried to make.............

how i met u'r mom

m not married...n hence obiously it won't be about me.its about the series .. we were watching this 3rd episod in vidahn room n u know it started with 2 people watching it n ended with around 10 guys watching the series....n most interesting thig was that... i was lying on bed with 2 guys more with me ....... n ended up with all guys on bed .......firstly i was fully visible n as the guys were entering the room they started to sit on bed beside me the they some one said " abe jagah de na" so some one lied beside me the this went on n on n at the end of around 10 min i wasn't visible ......it was really funny watching barney,marshell,ted ,lilly and our favourite girl robin .........but with lots of trouble ' abe haaanth hata.' abe paaair hata." abe dikta nahi hai" n lots of those stuff in between which can't be said here......but it was all fun............

reunion...

Reunion 82-87 batch

i was the hard work of last many months that a good reunion turned out to be a successfully. It was first of its kind in which all three of them participated the students, the college n the alumni.....without whom this won't have been successfull. It was really amoment filled with fun n emotions.....Looking 40 year old people behaving like kids in front of there kids was like wow........but still it was quite sentimental as many of them were not able to be there so they were sending messages through mails n SMS but still u can see the joy in every person face. It was really like a lost brothers have met after getting separated in kumbh mela. we were able too meet all ....many of them now not at all in enginnering fiel even after passing out from a engnieering collage. They were in CBi,Army,Business..n may few letf into engineering field. After interacting with them it was like things are already defined for u only thing left is that u will have to walk n go on picking up things as they come in front of you....thats all n try to live up every moments....