pain

i know nothing of what i m writing or i know waht i m writing these r the only two things that can happen. So today i thought that pain ??????where does it comes from n where does it goes to do it exist or its a physical experiance can't it be conqured and if it can be conqured what will happen of a human being because its existence lie in it if it can't feel the pain it can't be called a human,thats what i have heard. But suppose i conqured the pain, then the first thing i m gonna do is test, i can feel the pain or not. if it pass then i m gonna kill myself cause that is the ultimate fear of a human being n since its all because of the pain that u have to go through......so if u r free of pain don't go running aroung n doing stupid things cause after all u have became a robot having no felling of pain n that if u vant feel the oain u can't understand the feeling of love, couse for nything to exist in this world it will have something that balance it so for pain its love that balance's that .. don't believe me remember those days of little kids u get hurt n u'r mom use to take u n hug u proving love n affection that would make u forget abt the pain...........now enough of what i have said goodbye.........

thru one's eye

u think u have everything......
but who knows what he got.....
u have it now and
its lost in next moment..

everybody thinks he is the king.
cause he got what other don't .
but never see what other have got
and he don't.......

when the time comes....
u come crawling to .........
when it goes by u forget.........
only to make u crawling back.....

don't live the life one way..
cause u will have to meet.
the two way somewhere......
like the roads on which u walk...

u will try to talk
but no one will try it back
n u will end up
lying in a sack..........

run

i m running. i m running like hell to get away from that black figure which is trying to get me . i don't know what actually he want to do with me but i m sure he will damage me in one way or other. that was all i had in my mind . i tried each and every thing to get away from him.....but it was all useless ........ either it be in exam hall or be it my room or the unfaithful dreams, which was the only way to relax but now it changed to what we call a nightmare. m really dunno what will happen to me but lets say it be alright.....

that is what i call a rockstar in making ...........





this is what i call a rockstar ........

IBM day

date is 09/10/07. when i got up n went to for the breakfast show a new notice between all the fest n fine n short attendance, a new colorful notice was there it was all blue and in between them there was written "IBM day in NITK" dated 10/10/07. I thought good we will get a full day holiday and attendance without attending classes so with a happy mood went for lectures . First lecture he was standing in the front of the teachers space and announcing "tomorrow we have IBM coming to our college for seminars so everybody have to be in senate hall". we were thinking who the helll is going there. but after few seconds he again opens his mouth n the big avalanche goes on our head, "Attendance will be taken in senate hall after every hour so if u attend that then only u will get attendance" . Then only the holy words comes out of every guy in every form. this is again repeated for next 6 lecture .

date is 10/10/07. 8:30 everybody outside the senate hall and in a full mood as they knew we will be getting snacks n tea , which was much better than the breakfast so similarly we will be getting lunch too so many guys have even filled the mess rebate form. ok the seminar starts with a bang by distribution of IBM tagged bag. every body is inside the senate in confrence room ts a full packed. me too sitiing in my traditional way last with benchers. seminar start the guys starts blabbaring about servers n many more thing that we have head for first time but my day was bad so when i was listening to him everybody was enjoying n in that btwn he asked a question n didn't got that so i went to my left n asked he said no my right again a no and while doing this quite a lot of time has passed away but for me nothing, enthusiastic ass pushed me from my chair and made me stand so i got up and asked "whats the question?". conference room which was in a pin drop silence went for a laugh n me standing like a idiot. "koi bat nahi" i thought n let it go. we had our superb lunch which was like once on this college.. every body was having that nice lunch from participant teacher to the ordiance teacher who were also bored of their home food n all the final year. who were not invited but came for lunch only. n that was the end cause after that 30 percent were left in the conference room for the seminar. we had fun but yeah i got my ass fucked in one of seminar but i will tell u that later, cause thats totally a another story to go on.........

seems like i have become one of the favorite of bad luck as where ever i go i can see him coming towards me.......either be it the room in which i sleep n do all my nasty things or it be my mess where i eat .......when ever i go to mess i can see those eyes looking like a glowing red balls of fire which can be fired ny time at u ...........n u will just pass by without doing anything cause u know if u do any thing u won't be having nice day cause it the head sitting in his room who just came after delivering his lecture to a bunch of last bencher's n first bencher's who he differentiate as the bad ones n very bad ones cause last bencher's don't ask question n first one asks too many question........n over all his problem with those ones for whom he does this all thing ..........n all of this will come on u...............now again i come back to my point is i see him(referred to bad luck) wile i walking by the appolo where all then newbies get their ass fucked by the ones who still have pain in their ass abt how they were fucked...............as i pass that i can see what all can happen to me when i see that big board having some few good words which were never good for u "RAGGING IS BAN" enough...............i won't take these any more but what when i see at my watch i feel like oh my god m again late for the meeting with the bad luck .......i know he is waiting there for me ...........but theres a nice rain in waters, if u pass thru it u can feel the calmness n say oh please god help ..........but go on man.............ahhhhhhhh just show the dome of bad luck in which all the bad luck masters are sitting with different points .........ok my full days goes between them...............n then back to the 3 block 9 floors and 270 rooms heaven n get into the one which i have occupied for the development of my nxt generation ...get into it bastard i lie their taking a 69mm into my lungs n say ohhh what a relief..........n do what.......cause if i go for booze m back into devils eyes so enough man

if i get some more time l will let u know some more till then let me run away from them.........

national anthem

Jana gaṇa mana adhināyaka jaya hē
Bhārata bhāgya bidhātā
Pañjāba Sindhu Gujarāṭa Marāṭhā
Drābiḍa Utkala Baṅga
Bindhya Himācala ẏamunā Gaṅgā
Ucchala jaladhi taraṅga
Taba śubha nāmē jāgē
Taba śubha āśisa māgē
Gāhē taba jaya gāthā
Jana gaṇa maṅgala dāyaka jaya hē
Bhārata bhāgya bidhātā
Jaya hē jaya hē jaya hē
Jaya jaya jaya jaya hē

all i want is a chance to make it up to you
bringing back the smile on your face, the one i knew

things haven't worked the way we thought
in the mist of right something went wrong
like the wind time is passing away but then
there is something i wanna say...............

i was meant to be your shadow in daylight
your shoulder in the moment of cry
my mistake have taken all this away but then
there is something i wanna say..................

we r the one

we r the one
getting near the sun
but we won't burn
because we r the one....

we r the one
always looking for fun
but always ending under gun
cause we r the bum......

we r the bum
the only left one
closing near sun
atlast to burn...........

musc vs electronics

my life is getting nowhere.......
m not able to chosse.............
m not able to make the way....
i seems like lost kid ...............
choosing choclates n vedio game........
beacuse i llike both ..................
i dont have money to buy........
the kid don't have things to satisfy his parent....
m confused abt my parent,,,,,,
m cheating them.......
why m i doing this........
is this for what they have thougfht me........
or this is they wat life goes ..........
n m learning to live...........
learnig to survive .............
FUCK this FUCKING world .......
seems like m going to dieeeeeeeee.
m not eatng but m having marijuna..........
thats taking my life to................
FUCINK hi world m dying.....slowly.........
but was not like this ........
where has that person gone,,,,,,,,,,,,,
m confused with my self .............should i go for music or ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

whats exam???????????????????............thats the question that came into my mind when i was playing guitar during examination days n my fellows were studying,...................





i got many answer's from my fellow lets look at those answers..............





1.nxt sem main jane ke liye(to get promoted in nxt sem)


2.yaar marks chaiye.


why?


ans: grade banane ke liye


q: why garde


ans : achha job milega





3.yaar teacher ne 6 mahine g**** ghiiisi hai kabhi toh marne ka chance diya karo





4.why did i took engg in first place mann(in a frustrated manner so no question abt exam)?????





5.it is a mens period in which men cannout even masterbate!!!!
he forgets each n every thing...............



6.this is the time when u r free of timings......do what ever u wanna do whenever u wanna do.....(sleepin ,eating...n alll..........)



7.xams r a b***ch....teach u b4 lyf's gonna be one too....



8.time to get into books n see the syllaabus...............for first time...........


i will take more n then put up after i reach collage

good day bad day

morning was good enough to have a nice sleep so went for that till 9 o'clock but had to give up cause A.E lecture was there, so had to get up n do morning things n get ready for lecture within 20 min......... good enough did it................ came running to lecture hall n found no lecture as teacher is absent not only for 1 lecture but nxt three that make till lunch ..... in the end no need of getting up in morning for lecture.......... went to ccn.. waited for 30 min to gert the seat ................. atlast found that n then sat down for surfing............. good speed was enjoing that ...........was working well too... but then light went off within 10 min.......again had to wait for 45 min power is back so i m................ logged on to GMAIL n ORKUT the only two of them often surfed at ccn............. then she came online was happy good day to talk with her........... she went offline as fast as she came..................... left with my heart broken.................. thought she might come back so waited ........ till my lunch was going to over........... rushed to hostel to have lunch n got the leftover(means the so call mess food) but was happy ice-cream ...... its a ice-cream day.............. finished with my lunch went to have a ice -cream so took one n rushed back to department as lecture was going to start within10 min when opened the ice-cream packet found top-half is not present said to my self good enough then on the way to lecture saw EC-3 N 4 guys coming they ran after me but was able to save my icecream behind them i met last guys M.K nice guy.asked for icecream................ got bit senti so gave him for one bite...........but lost the whole as he was also the member of previous gang....................... went back for lecture but found that its a mass bunk for nxt two lecture...... went back to hostel n slept n missed the most imp lecture(sort of attendence) last one.......... thought thats good will have to talk to bro n her. so went for recharge................ paid 50 bucks.........got hte recharge ...........did one rupee india on someone else(entered the wrong no.) my 15 bucks .......................... after that the dark came n think took the whole bad day from me cause nothing bad hapen in night t that night i talked to all of them...................... n studied tooooooooooooooo(heheheheehehe which i do sometimes)......

hi m back frm where i left the story of getting into NIT ..........mmmmmmm yeah i was sitting in the teastall n thinking what to do yaar all my hardwork is going to spoil n i will have to work for one more year n that will be like wastung one more year but i was prepared for that but still it hurts like someone has taken u'r most important thing frm right under u' nose. But still i was just stiing then i remebered that i know a guy whom i use to help in maths n other subjects as he was just in class 12th n was staying in building. N he knows a person who is a contractor in ranchi n i have met him twice or thrice through him. So i thought lets give it a shot n called back patna n asked my Dad to call that guy n ask him abt deepak bhaiya as we called him. Then he talked to me n said that he is in Ranchi n gave me his No n he said that he will call n tell him to give him the money.So i called back deepak n asked where n when he will give me the money . He said to come in ranchi Town so i prepared to leave Meshra.

12:00

I have arranged money but thats not all i will have to go n collect frm him in ranchi town n i m in Meshara 5-7 km away frm there.So i left BIT Meshra at around 12:10 by reseving a Auto for 100 bucks where the cost is 20 bucks n then i had to wait for Bus in it was like never ending time was going fast n i was trying my level best. Then a three wheeler came n i was hanging on the back of wheeler till Ranchi. Good enough i m in Ranchi at around 12:30 but as deepak told me he will have to withdraw money frm Bank n then only he can give it to me so i went to the decided place n waited n while waiting i was thinking what will happen if deepak doen't arranges the money as he told me that he will but there was some fear in side my head n for next 45:min i was standing by roadside whatching each n every guy face whaling frm one point to another there every bike was looking like its must be his one or if some car slows down there my heart beat will go up n then back in frustated mode n it was hot like hell sun was straight above me n use to look up n ...............

1:15

then suddenly i saw deepak on the other side of the road he was waving his hand n i was so happy that finally he's there n then i met him hesaid that he was searching me for last 15 min didn't waited n said he have arranged n we will have to travell a bit n i went with him...........the he stopped at a shop he said did i had my lunch n i said yeah because i didn't wanted to waste my time eating..n then he gave mone to me n told one of his friend to leave me at the place from where i will get bus or three wheeler to Meshra n then we were on bike n that was first time i m on a bike n its going at around 90+ n it was really thrilling i closed my eye n let go the moment because i was really afriad of the way that guy was driving. Within 2-3min we were there at stand.He dropped me there n went back.Now there were only three wheeler's so i took the one that in which there were 3 person but still he didn't started cause untill they get full passenger the won't leave n there i had to wait again for 10min n it was quite frustating for me i shoughted on him but that didn't made any difference except that he said to me go n search for another one than i thought that its better to be silent n save energy.after as i said 10-15 min it was filled up with passengers n it left.

2:30

I m back in collage but thats not all i will have togo to bank n amke a draft of 5000 so i went there n i got two more shocks first one there was a long queue for those guys who didn't got seat n wanted to get there money back n other was its a lunch time so the counter won't open till 2:45.But i was going out of timeas i was left with only 2:15 after the counter opens with so many in front of me. It took me around 30 min to make the draft as draft have another counter n i had to just wait so long for the manager's sign..............now wait till il edit it......................

this is for a girl which came into my life about 3 moths ago n i one day while talking to her she told me about her dream n how her friend vandana explained he dream using tarot cards. But that was not all she the also said that how she wanted to be a open minded n western but one thing that i didn't said that time was do really think that western are really open minded??? n we must try to behave like them i don' t think completely in that way cause i also belive in same thing like there is only one god n he does exist but also she told me abt like differentiating between god but here i m going to put on a true story in which i m the hero of the story n it happened after AIEEE exam n i had to go Ranchi for the counselling. now normally who ever gets selected in AIEEE gets a information Voucher n according to that only he have to go. But i didn't recived that n Doesn't matter where counselling was going to be so i left to Ranchi as all counselling of bihar was going in there n stayed there with one of my friend's friend who knows nothing abt me n vice versa except he works there n m from Patna.bi reached Ranchi on 13th July alone n on 14th counselling was there so i went to BITS Meshra which is abt 5-7km away from main town.

10:00 P.M
I was in the collage n the anouncment started so after whole thing they didn't call me n when i asked them they said that as u'r state eligibility(From where u pass 12th board) is Meghalaya so your counselling will be from Silchar that's around 36 hours journey by train n 1 1/2 hrs by flight which was not possible for me as i didn't had enough money that was around Rs.500.But then the head of counselling department came n said OK u write an application n u'r counselling can be done as they were all connected by Internet n same time there was flood in Gujarat so double advantage. And i got the permission to have my counselling there but if u think that problem ends then i will only say that god doesn't exist..............

11:00P.M
But my next problem came just as i entered the main hall n where they told me to bring the photocopies of my certificates n a draft of Rs. 5000. I was in full beer mood 5 Min's ago n now m in full chili mood. I don't know what to do. AS i said before i barely knew any one in Ranchi so i went to PCO n called up my Dad who is in Army but was on leave that time so he was in Patna n told him the story.My dad said doesn't matter he will send the money. But man prob was how it will reach to me through bank or how cause i didn't had bank account there n no ATM so no option of that.

11:30 P.M
I sat down there n started thinking what to do.then suddenly i remember that if god is with me then i know a man who comes here regularly but if he's here or not or if he will help me or not didn't knew any thing i what i thought was simply go on.........................

at present i don't have much time to complete it so i will complete it within 2 days so...keep guessing how i got into NIT